Couch Chronicles: How my counselor redefined my purpose
Updated: Feb 7, 2020
I've recently started back counseling regularly and intentionally. Check out todays blog about the session that changed the game for me!

โ๐๐ก๐ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐โ -๐๐บ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ณ โฃโฃ
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When he said this I literally froze. My nature is perfectionistic + performance driven achiever. Doing good and being the best has driven me for most of my life and itโs been pointed in the wrong direction. When my counselor said this, itโs like my internal compass did a 180. Iโve experienced A LOT of performance-based seasons that, high-key, became validators for me (i.e. COLLEGE, CAREER, MONEY, RELATIONSHIPS, etc.) โฃ
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Even when I attained my biggest, highest goalsโ the excitement and thrill died shortly after, leaving me with this โwhatโs next, who am I? feeling. I was living my life, performing for validation. Doing things that made others proud, made them like me, made me look good, made me a lil money (cause FINANCES can be a pimp too lol) but made me absolutely MISERABLE. โฃ
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Iโve learned that when I (we) live an inauthentic, performance-driven life, my purpose isnโt ignited, itโs prostituted. On the other end of a performance-driven life is a cheap high with short-lived applauses and accolades that leave you feening for that validation again. โฃ
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Ohhhh, but when I (we) choose to live in ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐, validation comes from a different, solid, trusted source. Iโm living to please Him and His plan for my life. (Whether โtheyโ like it or not) Energy is restored, friendships are more solid, and those who benefitted from my (our) lack of identity fall off the radar like Milli Vanilli in the 80s. Itโs refreshing. ๐๐ฝ ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐. โค๏ธ๐
-Your sister-friend Maya