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Couch Chronicles: How my counselor redefined my purpose

Updated: Feb 7, 2020

I've recently started back counseling regularly and intentionally. Check out todays blog about the session that changed the game for me!

โ€œ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐ญ๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ ๐š๐œ๐ญ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐š๐ง ๐š๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐œ ๐ฅ๐ข๐Ÿ๐žโ€ -๐˜”๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ โฃโฃ


When he said this I literally froze. My nature is perfectionistic + performance driven achiever. Doing good and being the best has driven me for most of my life and itโ€™s been pointed in the wrong direction. When my counselor said this, itโ€™s like my internal compass did a 180. Iโ€™ve experienced A LOT of performance-based seasons that, high-key, became validators for me (i.e. COLLEGE, CAREER, MONEY, RELATIONSHIPS, etc.) โฃ


Even when I attained my biggest, highest goalsโ€” the excitement and thrill died shortly after, leaving me with this โ€œwhatโ€™s next, who am I? feeling. I was living my life, performing for validation. Doing things that made others proud, made them like me, made me look good, made me a lil money (cause FINANCES can be a pimp too lol) but made me absolutely MISERABLE. โฃ


Iโ€™ve learned that when I (we) live an inauthentic, performance-driven life, my purpose isnโ€™t ignited, itโ€™s prostituted. On the other end of a performance-driven life is a cheap high with short-lived applauses and accolades that leave you feening for that validation again. โฃ


Ohhhh, but when I (we) choose to live in ๐€ ๐” ๐“ ๐‡ ๐„ ๐ ๐“ ๐ˆ ๐‚ ๐ˆ ๐“ ๐˜, validation comes from a different, solid, trusted source. Iโ€™m living to please Him and His plan for my life. (Whether โ€œtheyโ€ like it or not) Energy is restored, friendships are more solid, and those who benefitted from my (our) lack of identity fall off the radar like Milli Vanilli in the 80s. Itโ€™s refreshing. ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฝ ๐†๐Ž๐ƒ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐š๐ฎ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐œ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ, ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฐ๐ž ๐๐‘๐„๐“๐„๐๐ƒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž. โค๏ธ๐Ÿ”‘

-Your sister-friend Maya

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