Updated: Feb 7, 2020
I've recently started back counseling regularly and intentionally. Check out todays blog about the session that changed the game for me!
“𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞” -𝘔𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘳
When he said this I literally froze. My nature is perfectionistic + performance driven achiever. Doing good and being the best has driven me for most of my life and it’s been pointed in the wrong direction. When my counselor said this, it’s like my internal compass did a 180. I’ve experienced A LOT of performance-based seasons that, high-key, became validators for me (i.e. COLLEGE, CAREER, MONEY, RELATIONSHIPS, etc.)
Even when I attained my biggest, highest goals— the excitement and thrill died shortly after, leaving me with this “what’s next, who am I? feeling. I was living my life, performing for validation. Doing things that made others proud, made them like me, made me look good, made me a lil money (cause FINANCES can be a pimp too lol) but made me absolutely MISERABLE.
I’ve learned that when I (we) live an inauthentic, performance-driven life, my purpose isn’t ignited, it’s prostituted. On the other end of a performance-driven life is a cheap high with short-lived applauses and accolades that leave you feening for that validation again.
Ohhhh, but when I (we) choose to live in 𝐀 𝐔 𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓 𝐈 𝐂 𝐈 𝐓 𝐘, validation comes from a different, solid, trusted source. I’m living to please Him and His plan for my life. (Whether “they” like it or not) Energy is restored, friendships are more solid, and those who benefitted from my (our) lack of identity fall off the radar like Milli Vanilli in the 80s. It’s refreshing. 🙌🏽 𝐆𝐎𝐃 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞. ❤️🔑
-Your sister-friend Maya